• Interceptor (2022)

    From Arelor@PALANT to All on Thursday, July 14, 2022 18:27:36
    Hello, moviegoers! After a long hiatus, I have returned to talk to you about yet another low budget turd you wouldn't watch if it was the last movie available on Earth!

    I am talking about Interceptor.

    The biggest tragedy affecting this movie is that the premise is quite fine for a cheap action flick. A group of terrorists has stolen sixteen nukes from the Russians and intend to blast the US away with them. The only thing standing between the USA and total annihilation are two secret military bases armed with nuke intercepting missiles. As long as those bases are operational, the terrorists can't launch their nukes, since the intercepting missiles will wipe them out of the sky. Therefore, they must disable said bases.

    The US army shows its incompetence losing the first base to dormant infiltrators who had waited six years to strike. The second, however, won't fall so easily, because Captain JJ, the badass girl of the day, is going to protect her base against the terrorists no matter the cost.

    The film quickly gets its pace when all the good guys from the second base are killed, with few exceptions, who manage to lock themselves into the command center. It devolves quite fast into the terrorists trying to get in the command center before the SEAL reinforcements show up from the nearest base.

    Special effects are clunky, and would have worked well fifteen years ago. That's ok, I guess. If you have enough bourbon I am sure the CGI missles, boats and buildings will look slightly better. I am unfortunate enough to have been drinking a non-alcoholic drink while watching this movie, so I missed the improved experience.

    The action and fighting scenes are much better than what I expect from any post 2016 movie. We get a clear picture, instead of the (now traditional) shaky camera which lets you figure out nothing of what's happening. Some of the actors actually know their martial arts. Some scenes, though, are so CGIed that they outweight the good ones.

    Out of the cheapness of the production showing up, Interceptor suffers a single issue, which is sadly lethal. You see, in creative circles, we know about the Eight Deadly Words:


    Or, explained another way: every single character is either so woke, so badly developed, so unrealistic or so burdersome that you won't care what happens to any of them. Therefore, you won't give a flying rat turd for the movie as a whole.

    (Another way of summarizing the above is to simply say "It is a Netflix movie," for the record.)

    And so, on the left corner (pun intended) we have Captain JJ, a victim of workplace sexual abuse, who is every bit a textbook token character for keeping feminists happy. Then we have the Hindi technician, who is an unlikable coward so useless you'll wonder what's the point in having him in.

    On the right side (pun intended) we have a team composed mostly of white males whose motivation is so vague as to be inexistent. It is outright said that they see themselves as patriots who want to destroy America because it has allowed leftwing politics rule it, but then it is also outright said they are just paid mercenaries. Seriously, these guys make the premise unbuyable.

    In the end of the day, the conclusion is unsatisfactory. We are treated with some nice fights to the death, but we never learn who was paying for the whole operation and why some events in the movie took place. I guess that is because it doesn t really matter. What matters is watching a diverse cast of good guys beat a group of rightwingers.

    No wonder so many people is cancelling their Netflix subscription. If I were a Netflix subscriber, the fact they are huge benefactors for the BSD ecosystem would not be enough to keep me paying them to produce this stuff. Geez, I swear Netflix thinks you are The Enemy (aka Sauron) if you have a US flag somewhere in your house.


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