• Tolkien's Flying Circus

    From Spiny Norman@1:379/45 to All on Monday, November 28, 2005 02:36:40
    From: "Spiny Norman" <palindromedaris@hotmail.com>

    I'll just quote a few "highlights" shall I?

    Gollum: "The hobbit must have a competition with us, my precious... if it asks us a riddle, and we don't know the answer, we show it the way out, won't we, my
    precious."
    Bilbo: "OK. I'll start. What is the capital of Assyria?" Gollum: "We doesn't know that! We wants five (three) guessess! AAaargh"

    ...

    ...
    At the Prancing Pony...

    Aragorn: G'devening!
    Frodo: Old man! Who are you?
    Aragorn: I'm 150!
    Frodo: What?
    Aragorn: I'm not old, I'm only 150! Frodo: Not old? You're 150 and you call that not old? You're a relic! Aragorn: Listen, do you eh... wear any jewelery? Golden objects, hey, he asked him knowingly? Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, know what I mean.
    Frodo: I don't know what you're talking about. Aragorn: Do you ever go invisible? Hey? Know what I mean, say no more, nudge nudge, wink wink.
    Frodo: I have no idea what you mean. My name is mister Underhill. Aragorn: Say no more!!!
    Frodo: Look, are you insinuating something? ...

    ...
    Frodo: I can't believe he is really dead. He cannot be gone. Boromir: No, he's dead allright.
    Frodo: Remarkable wizard, that Gandalf... beautiful fireworks! Boromir: The fireworks don't enter into it! He's stone dead! Frodo: He is probably pining for the Grey Havens. Boromir: Pining for the Grey Havens? What kind of talk is that and why did he fall down that gorge?
    Frodo: He prefers dramatic escapes! It's for his idiom! Boromir: He fell from that tall bridge into the abyss! Frodo: Of course. He'll beat up that Balrog, get on a broomstick, and VOOOM!
    Boromir: Mate that wizard wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through him! He's bleedin' demised! Frodo: Noo, he's pining!
    Boromir: He's not pining, he's passed on! He's expired, gone to meet Illuvatar.
    This is an ex-Istari. If he hadn't fallen beyond recall he'd be pushing up the elenor by now.
    ...

    You'll find much more like that at: http://www.geocities.com/montypythonmuseum/jrrtfc.html

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