From: Analda Anglin <analda@nospam.hiwaay.net>

The Alt.Fan.Monty-Python FAQ
(C) Copyright 1998-2007 Analda Anglin
Version 8.2
Last modified February 2, 2007

***Important Notices***

Changed for Version 8.2: Removed Python Internet Guide due to proliferation of search engines. Condensed document to one part.

Changes for Version 8.1: Editing to create a shorter document.

***FAQ Facts***
This FAQ is written specifically for the alt.fan.monty-python newsgroup. It originally created by John 'Shaggy' Kolesar. In August
1998 it was passed on to Analda Anglin and in February 2000 it was given its own website, www.pythonfan.com. Current FAQ point of contact is analda@hiwaay.net. This FAQ is posted to the newsgroup on or about the 1st of each month.

Many thanks go to the following people who have helped with ideas/revisions: (In absolutely no sensible order whatsoever) John 'Shaggy' Kolesar: Original writing of the FAQ and several years of maintenance
Bonni Hall: Net Guidelines, Group History Sir David: The Liberty Bell March (MP
theme song) Q & A Dave Morning: Authoritative Cause of Death for Graham Chapman
Dirk Rehberger: Translation of the Funniest Joke in the World Andrew Bromage aka Sir Pseudonym: ASCII Artwork-Foot and Spiney Norman, available for viewing at the website

PART ONE: Posting Guidelines

RULE ONE: Please post sensibly and courteously. This means no large files (scripts, images, sounds). If someone requests a large file
that you can provide, please email the file or furnish directions to an appropriate web or FTP site.

Edit long cascades. Long cascades are posts with multiple follow ups. Delete the lines you're not using in your reply, such as "so and so wrote" headers and
signature files.

Refrain from HTML posting. Many newsreaders do not interpret HTML tags correctly, so HTML posts come across as lines of gibberish.

RULE TWO: Please be polite. Lots of people post here asking for skits, songs, scripts, and facts. Be polite, be friendly, and be helpful if you can. Don't blow them up because they don't know which web or FTP site to go to. We are a friendly, generally amusing, mostly intelligent bunch of folks. We really ought to act that way.

Flames are hurtful and unkind and have no place in this newsgroup. Personal direct insults are right out. If someone is rude, ignore him/her. Do not send
any mail to that person, do not flame in return, and do not post about that person. In short: DO NOT FEED THE FLAMES.

When you see Spam (articles that are cross posted to newsgroups they have nothing to do with), do not post follow ups. That just adds to the problem and
usually creates more cross posts. Like flames, the best thing to do when someone posts Spam is to ignore it.

When in doubt, email instead of posting. If you're not sure whether something will be taken as a joke, it's usually best to restrict the remarks to email instead of posting them for everyone to see. Personal comments, private jokes, and off topic threads are best kept private.


RULE THREE: Please try to keep things on topic. We understand when things become silly. Let's face it--Monty Python was a bunch of very silly/wacky/loony people. Still, in a Monty Python newsgroup posts should be Python-related or Pythonesque.

Direct Python discussions are obviously fine. Posts about Python information, such as this FAQ and requests for Python web and FTP sites, are allowed. So are posts about the newsgroup and announcements of upcoming events in the Python and a.f.m-p communities.

Original humor that has a strong basis in Python is also acceptable. Python based means things such as parodies on Python bits or original works that involve Python ideas in a new way. If you think that other people could read your creation and say to themselves "Hey! That resembles Monty Python!" then it
should be fine. Original humor that has absolutely nothing to do with Python is unfortunately out. While it is probably funny, it more likely belongs in rec.humor or email.

RULE FOUR: Don't use the newsgroup to distribute copyrighted materials. The free distribution of copyrighted materials through the Internet is illegal. There are no exceptions without specific permission from the copyright owners.
The Python London office asks that we direct people to the published versions of Monty Python material and encourage them to buy the book versions of the scripts.

And finally, THERE IS NO RULE SIX!!

PART TWO: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A. The Witch Quote
Q. What does the witch say in the Holy Grail when she is found to
weigh the same as a duck, and therefore found to be a witch?
A. She says, "It's a fair cop." The phrase is thieves' cant for
"you've got me dead to rights," which means that there has been no entrapment and the person was fairly caught in the act. The line has also been used a few
other sketches, like "Dead Bishop on the Landing/Church Police" and "Whizzo Chocolates."

B. Knights Who No Longer Say NI
Q. What do the knights who no longer say NI now call themselves?
A. They are the knights who say (something like) "ecky ecky ecky
ecky pi'tang zoop boing." What was said on screen during the filming was completely different from what was written down on the screenplay. The line was
spontaneously ad-libbed. What is quoted in the net file scripts of the movie is a phonetic approximation of what was said. In case you are curious, the official script for the Holy Grail says "We are now the Knights who go Neeeowàwumàping!"

C. Holy Grail Monks
Q. What are the monks chanting in The Holy Grail?
A. The monks chant "Pie Iesu Domine. Dona eis Requiem." It is
Latin for "Merciful Lord Jesus. Grant them rest." These are typical Catholic funeral mass phrases.

D. Flying Circus Theme Music
Q. What is the theme music for Monty Python's Flying Circus?
A. The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa. The Coldstream
Guards performed the recording used for the series.

E. Rumors and Truth about Graham Chapman
Q. Was Graham Chapman homosexual? Was he an alcoholic?
A. Yes and yes. At his peak he was reportedly consuming two
quarts of gin a day. Chapman stopped drinking later in his life. Q. When did Graham Chapman die? What did he die of?
A. He died on October 4, 1989, just one day before Monty Python's
20th anniversary. Graham Chapman died of cancer. The rumors of him contracting AIDS are completely false. They presumably came from the infamous and yet utterly stupid notion that dead + homosexual = AIDS.

When this newsgroup first started up, there was a long and
tedious debate about Chapman's cause of death. A member in London went to the public records office, got a copy of Graham Chapman's death certificate, and posted it.

The primary cause of death was cancer of the larynx (throat)
with secondary cancers elsewhere, including the liver. Cancer of the liver is quite common and quite fatal, but it is usually a sign of cancer elsewhere. The liver only gets affected in the final stages. Liver failure will eventually
kill you if pneumonia doesn't get you first.

Death certificates in the UK are required by law to state both
the primary and secondary causes of death. Graham died of pneumonia as a result of cancer of the larynx that had spread to many other sites, including the liver.

F. Deadly Joke
Q. What is the funniest joke in the world? What does it mean?
A. Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund
das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Taken from "The First 200 Years of Monty Python" by Kim "Howard" Johnson]: "It was actually German gibberish," Eric Idle explains. "It's written-down gibberish, because we all had to learn the same thing, yeah, but it's gibberish! It doesn't mean a thing at all. At least, I don't think it doesà"

Q. Isn't some of that actual German? What's the closet
translation into English you can make? A. Yes, some of the words used were real German words. Others
were pseudo German-sounding words. It's mostly nonsense.

[Taken from an article to a.f.m-p by Dirk Rehberger]: I've seen it, I'm German, and here's the translation.
Wenn ist das - If is the (note: "Wann"means "when," which
would make slightly more sense, since it's a question)
Nunstueck - nun = now, stueck = piece
git - that's obviously English! (but similar to "gibt" meaning
"gives" or, in the phrase "es gibt," "there is")
und - and
Slotermeyer? - Doesn't make sense! (Meyer is a common German
surname)
Ja! - Yes!
Beiherhund - hund = dog. Beiher doesn't make any sense.
Bayer mean Bavarian, but you can't say "Bayerhund" for "Bavarian dog;" you would have to say "Bayrischer hund."
das oder die - the or the (das is neuter, die is feminine) or
that
Flipperwaldt - Flipper = pinball, wald = wood/forest
Gersput - Doesn't make sense! "Ge" and "ver" are very common
German prefixes for past participles, but not "ger."

All in all: If is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)? Yes! (Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!

Note that your translation may vary, depending on which
transcription you use and how hard you try to make sense of it.

G. Poofters
Q. What is a poofter/pooftah, as heard in the Bruces Philosophers
sketch?
A. Poofter is slang for male homosexual.

H. Walk This Way
Q. What is the joke about the phrase "If I could walk that wayà?"
A. If I could walk that way is an old gag, possibly originated by
the Marx Brothers. Typically someone would walk into a drug store or pharmacy,
ask for an ointment, and be told to walk this way (in other words, follow me).
The customer would then reply, "If I could walk that way I wouldn't need ointment." The phrase "If I could walk that way" has therefore become a classic and well-known comedy gag.

You also may occasionally see a comic sketch where a person is told "Walk this way," then walks away in a comical manner (silly walk!), implying walk the way I am walking instead of follow me.

I. Four Yorkshire Men Sketch
Q. What is the sketch of four men sitting around talking about
their childhoods and trying to outdo each other with stories about how hard it was?
A. That is the Four Yorkshire Men Sketch. It was originally
written pre-Flying Circus and was never performed in the series. It was performed in several stage shows, including Live at the Hollywood Bowl, and is on Python audio recordings.

J. Python Mailing Address
Q. Where can I write the Python Office?
A. The Python Office address for official correspondence is The
Python Office, 34 Thistlewaite Road, London E5 0QQ, England. The office is unable to respond individually to each piece of mail, including questions or requests for signed pictures. Do not send personal items to this address for they will not be returned. The office no longer accepts personal items for signing.

K. AKA
Q. What is the "aka" I see some people use when they sign posts?
A. The letters AKA stand for Also Known As and usually serve as
an alias. Some posters use the aka as a postscript or a final witty comment. It's silly and has nothing to do with what aka really means, but they are a part of this newsgroup's history and date back to 1991.

--- BBBS/NT v4.01 Flag-5
* Origin: FidoNet MONTE <--> alt.fan.monty-python (1:379/45)

From: Analda Anglin <analda@nospam.hiwaay.net>

The Alt.Fan.Monty-Python FAQ
(C) Copyright 1998-2007 Analda Anglin
Version 8.2
Last modified February 2, 2007

***Important Notices***

Changed for Version 8.2: Removed Python Internet Guide due to proliferation of search engines. Condensed document to one part.

Changes for Version 8.1: Editing to create a shorter document.

***FAQ Facts***
This FAQ is written specifically for the alt.fan.monty-python newsgroup. It originally created by John 'Shaggy' Kolesar. In August
1998 it was passed on to Analda Anglin and in February 2000 it was given its own website, www.pythonfan.com. Current FAQ point of contact is analda@hiwaay.net. This FAQ is posted to the newsgroup on or about the 1st of each month.

Many thanks go to the following people who have helped with ideas/revisions: (In absolutely no sensible order whatsoever) John 'Shaggy' Kolesar: Original writing of the FAQ and several years of maintenance
Bonni Hall: Net Guidelines, Group History Sir David: The Liberty Bell March (MP
theme song) Q & A Dave Morning: Authoritative Cause of Death for Graham Chapman
Dirk Rehberger: Translation of the Funniest Joke in the World Andrew Bromage aka Sir Pseudonym: ASCII Artwork-Foot and Spiney Norman, available for viewing at the website

PART ONE: Posting Guidelines

RULE ONE: Please post sensibly and courteously. This means no large files (scripts, images, sounds). If someone requests a large file
that you can provide, please email the file or furnish directions to an appropriate web or FTP site.

Edit long cascades. Long cascades are posts with multiple follow ups. Delete the lines you're not using in your reply, such as "so and so wrote" headers and
signature files.

Refrain from HTML posting. Many newsreaders do not interpret HTML tags correctly, so HTML posts come across as lines of gibberish.

RULE TWO: Please be polite. Lots of people post here asking for skits, songs, scripts, and facts. Be polite, be friendly, and be helpful if you can. Don't blow them up because they don't know which web or FTP site to go to. We are a friendly, generally amusing, mostly intelligent bunch of folks. We really ought to act that way.

Flames are hurtful and unkind and have no place in this newsgroup. Personal direct insults are right out. If someone is rude, ignore him/her. Do not send
any mail to that person, do not flame in return, and do not post about that person. In short: DO NOT FEED THE FLAMES.

When you see Spam (articles that are cross posted to newsgroups they have nothing to do with), do not post follow ups. That just adds to the problem and
usually creates more cross posts. Like flames, the best thing to do when someone posts Spam is to ignore it.

When in doubt, email instead of posting. If you're not sure whether something will be taken as a joke, it's usually best to restrict the remarks to email instead of posting them for everyone to see. Personal comments, private jokes, and off topic threads are best kept private.


RULE THREE: Please try to keep things on topic. We understand when things become silly. Let's face it--Monty Python was a bunch of very silly/wacky/loony people. Still, in a Monty Python newsgroup posts should be Python-related or Pythonesque.

Direct Python discussions are obviously fine. Posts about Python information, such as this FAQ and requests for Python web and FTP sites, are allowed. So are posts about the newsgroup and announcements of upcoming events in the Python and a.f.m-p communities.

Original humor that has a strong basis in Python is also acceptable. Python based means things such as parodies on Python bits or original works that involve Python ideas in a new way. If you think that other people could read your creation and say to themselves "Hey! That resembles Monty Python!" then it
should be fine. Original humor that has absolutely nothing to do with Python is unfortunately out. While it is probably funny, it more likely belongs in rec.humor or email.

RULE FOUR: Don't use the newsgroup to distribute copyrighted materials. The free distribution of copyrighted materials through the Internet is illegal. There are no exceptions without specific permission from the copyright owners.
The Python London office asks that we direct people to the published versions of Monty Python material and encourage them to buy the book versions of the scripts.

And finally, THERE IS NO RULE SIX!!

PART TWO: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A. The Witch Quote
Q. What does the witch say in the Holy Grail when she is found to
weigh the same as a duck, and therefore found to be a witch?
A. She says, "It's a fair cop." The phrase is thieves' cant for
"you've got me dead to rights," which means that there has been no entrapment and the person was fairly caught in the act. The line has also been used a few
other sketches, like "Dead Bishop on the Landing/Church Police" and "Whizzo Chocolates."

B. Knights Who No Longer Say NI
Q. What do the knights who no longer say NI now call themselves?
A. They are the knights who say (something like) "ecky ecky ecky
ecky pi'tang zoop boing." What was said on screen during the filming was completely different from what was written down on the screenplay. The line was
spontaneously ad-libbed. What is quoted in the net file scripts of the movie is a phonetic approximation of what was said. In case you are curious, the official script for the Holy Grail says "We are now the Knights who go Neeeowàwumàping!"

C. Holy Grail Monks
Q. What are the monks chanting in The Holy Grail?
A. The monks chant "Pie Iesu Domine. Dona eis Requiem." It is
Latin for "Merciful Lord Jesus. Grant them rest." These are typical Catholic funeral mass phrases.

D. Flying Circus Theme Music
Q. What is the theme music for Monty Python's Flying Circus?
A. The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa. The Coldstream
Guards performed the recording used for the series.

E. Rumors and Truth about Graham Chapman
Q. Was Graham Chapman homosexual? Was he an alcoholic?
A. Yes and yes. At his peak he was reportedly consuming two
quarts of gin a day. Chapman stopped drinking later in his life. Q. When did Graham Chapman die? What did he die of?
A. He died on October 4, 1989, just one day before Monty Python's
20th anniversary. Graham Chapman died of cancer. The rumors of him contracting AIDS are completely false. They presumably came from the infamous and yet utterly stupid notion that dead + homosexual = AIDS.

When this newsgroup first started up, there was a long and
tedious debate about Chapman's cause of death. A member in London went to the public records office, got a copy of Graham Chapman's death certificate, and posted it.

The primary cause of death was cancer of the larynx (throat)
with secondary cancers elsewhere, including the liver. Cancer of the liver is quite common and quite fatal, but it is usually a sign of cancer elsewhere. The liver only gets affected in the final stages. Liver failure will eventually
kill you if pneumonia doesn't get you first.

Death certificates in the UK are required by law to state both
the primary and secondary causes of death. Graham died of pneumonia as a result of cancer of the larynx that had spread to many other sites, including the liver.

F. Deadly Joke
Q. What is the funniest joke in the world? What does it mean?
A. Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund
das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Taken from "The First 200 Years of Monty Python" by Kim "Howard" Johnson]: "It was actually German gibberish," Eric Idle explains. "It's written-down gibberish, because we all had to learn the same thing, yeah, but it's gibberish! It doesn't mean a thing at all. At least, I don't think it doesà"

Q. Isn't some of that actual German? What's the closet
translation into English you can make? A. Yes, some of the words used were real German words. Others
were pseudo German-sounding words. It's mostly nonsense.

[Taken from an article to a.f.m-p by Dirk Rehberger]: I've seen it, I'm German, and here's the translation.
Wenn ist das - If is the (note: "Wann"means "when," which
would make slightly more sense, since it's a question)
Nunstueck - nun = now, stueck = piece
git - that's obviously English! (but similar to "gibt" meaning
"gives" or, in the phrase "es gibt," "there is")
und - and
Slotermeyer? - Doesn't make sense! (Meyer is a common German
surname)
Ja! - Yes!
Beiherhund - hund = dog. Beiher doesn't make any sense.
Bayer mean Bavarian, but you can't say "Bayerhund" for "Bavarian dog;" you would have to say "Bayrischer hund."
das oder die - the or the (das is neuter, die is feminine) or
that
Flipperwaldt - Flipper = pinball, wald = wood/forest
Gersput - Doesn't make sense! "Ge" and "ver" are very common
German prefixes for past participles, but not "ger."

All in all: If is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)? Yes! (Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!

Note that your translation may vary, depending on which
transcription you use and how hard you try to make sense of it.

G. Poofters
Q. What is a poofter/pooftah, as heard in the Bruces Philosophers
sketch?
A. Poofter is slang for male homosexual.

H. Walk This Way
Q. What is the joke about the phrase "If I could walk that wayà?"
A. If I could walk that way is an old gag, possibly originated by
the Marx Brothers. Typically someone would walk into a drug store or pharmacy,
ask for an ointment, and be told to walk this way (in other words, follow me).
The customer would then reply, "If I could walk that way I wouldn't need ointment." The phrase "If I could walk that way" has therefore become a classic and well-known comedy gag.

You also may occasionally see a comic sketch where a person is told "Walk this way," then walks away in a comical manner (silly walk!), implying walk the way I am walking instead of follow me.

I. Four Yorkshire Men Sketch
Q. What is the sketch of four men sitting around talking about
their childhoods and trying to outdo each other with stories about how hard it was?
A. That is the Four Yorkshire Men Sketch. It was originally
written pre-Flying Circus and was never performed in the series. It was performed in several stage shows, including Live at the Hollywood Bowl, and is on Python audio recordings.

J. Python Mailing Address
Q. Where can I write the Python Office?
A. The Python Office address for official correspondence is The
Python Office, 34 Thistlewaite Road, London E5 0QQ, England. The office is unable to respond individually to each piece of mail, including questions or requests for signed pictures. Do not send personal items to this address for they will not be returned. The office no longer accepts personal items for signing.

K. AKA
Q. What is the "aka" I see some people use when they sign posts?
A. The letters AKA stand for Also Known As and usually serve as
an alias. Some posters use the aka as a postscript or a final witty comment. It's silly and has nothing to do with what aka really means, but they are a part of this newsgroup's history and date back to 1991.

--- BBBS/NT v4.01 Flag-5
* Origin: FidoNet MONTE <--> alt.fan.monty-python (1:379/45)

From: Analda Anglin <analda@nospam.hiwaay.net>

The Alt.Fan.Monty-Python FAQ
(C) Copyright 1998-2007 Analda Anglin
Version 8.2
Last modified February 2, 2007

***Important Notices***

Changed for Version 8.2: Removed Python Internet Guide due to proliferation of search engines. Condensed document to one part.

Changes for Version 8.1: Editing to create a shorter document.

***FAQ Facts***
This FAQ is written specifically for the alt.fan.monty-python newsgroup. It originally created by John 'Shaggy' Kolesar. In August
1998 it was passed on to Analda Anglin and in February 2000 it was given its own website, www.pythonfan.com. Current FAQ point of contact is analda@hiwaay.net. This FAQ is posted to the newsgroup on or about the 1st of each month.

Many thanks go to the following people who have helped with ideas/revisions: (In absolutely no sensible order whatsoever) John 'Shaggy' Kolesar: Original writing of the FAQ and several years of maintenance
Bonni Hall: Net Guidelines, Group History Sir David: The Liberty Bell March (MP
theme song) Q & A Dave Morning: Authoritative Cause of Death for Graham Chapman
Dirk Rehberger: Translation of the Funniest Joke in the World Andrew Bromage aka Sir Pseudonym: ASCII Artwork-Foot and Spiney Norman, available for viewing at the website

PART ONE: Posting Guidelines

RULE ONE: Please post sensibly and courteously. This means no large files (scripts, images, sounds). If someone requests a large file
that you can provide, please email the file or furnish directions to an appropriate web or FTP site.

Edit long cascades. Long cascades are posts with multiple follow ups. Delete the lines you're not using in your reply, such as "so and so wrote" headers and
signature files.

Refrain from HTML posting. Many newsreaders do not interpret HTML tags correctly, so HTML posts come across as lines of gibberish.

RULE TWO: Please be polite. Lots of people post here asking for skits, songs, scripts, and facts. Be polite, be friendly, and be helpful if you can. Don't blow them up because they don't know which web or FTP site to go to. We are a friendly, generally amusing, mostly intelligent bunch of folks. We really ought to act that way.

Flames are hurtful and unkind and have no place in this newsgroup. Personal direct insults are right out. If someone is rude, ignore him/her. Do not send
any mail to that person, do not flame in return, and do not post about that person. In short: DO NOT FEED THE FLAMES.

When you see Spam (articles that are cross posted to newsgroups they have nothing to do with), do not post follow ups. That just adds to the problem and
usually creates more cross posts. Like flames, the best thing to do when someone posts Spam is to ignore it.

When in doubt, email instead of posting. If you're not sure whether something will be taken as a joke, it's usually best to restrict the remarks to email instead of posting them for everyone to see. Personal comments, private jokes, and off topic threads are best kept private.


RULE THREE: Please try to keep things on topic. We understand when things become silly. Let's face it--Monty Python was a bunch of very silly/wacky/loony people. Still, in a Monty Python newsgroup posts should be Python-related or Pythonesque.

Direct Python discussions are obviously fine. Posts about Python information, such as this FAQ and requests for Python web and FTP sites, are allowed. So are posts about the newsgroup and announcements of upcoming events in the Python and a.f.m-p communities.

Original humor that has a strong basis in Python is also acceptable. Python based means things such as parodies on Python bits or original works that involve Python ideas in a new way. If you think that other people could read your creation and say to themselves "Hey! That resembles Monty Python!" then it
should be fine. Original humor that has absolutely nothing to do with Python is unfortunately out. While it is probably funny, it more likely belongs in rec.humor or email.

RULE FOUR: Don't use the newsgroup to distribute copyrighted materials. The free distribution of copyrighted materials through the Internet is illegal. There are no exceptions without specific permission from the copyright owners.
The Python London office asks that we direct people to the published versions of Monty Python material and encourage them to buy the book versions of the scripts.

And finally, THERE IS NO RULE SIX!!

PART TWO: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A. The Witch Quote
Q. What does the witch say in the Holy Grail when she is found to
weigh the same as a duck, and therefore found to be a witch?
A. She says, "It's a fair cop." The phrase is thieves' cant for
"you've got me dead to rights," which means that there has been no entrapment and the person was fairly caught in the act. The line has also been used a few
other sketches, like "Dead Bishop on the Landing/Church Police" and "Whizzo Chocolates."

B. Knights Who No Longer Say NI
Q. What do the knights who no longer say NI now call themselves?
A. They are the knights who say (something like) "ecky ecky ecky
ecky pi'tang zoop boing." What was said on screen during the filming was completely different from what was written down on the screenplay. The line was
spontaneously ad-libbed. What is quoted in the net file scripts of the movie is a phonetic approximation of what was said. In case you are curious, the official script for the Holy Grail says "We are now the Knights who go Neeeowàwumàping!"

C. Holy Grail Monks
Q. What are the monks chanting in The Holy Grail?
A. The monks chant "Pie Iesu Domine. Dona eis Requiem." It is
Latin for "Merciful Lord Jesus. Grant them rest." These are typical Catholic funeral mass phrases.

D. Flying Circus Theme Music
Q. What is the theme music for Monty Python's Flying Circus?
A. The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa. The Coldstream
Guards performed the recording used for the series.

E. Rumors and Truth about Graham Chapman
Q. Was Graham Chapman homosexual? Was he an alcoholic?
A. Yes and yes. At his peak he was reportedly consuming two
quarts of gin a day. Chapman stopped drinking later in his life. Q. When did Graham Chapman die? What did he die of?
A. He died on October 4, 1989, just one day before Monty Python's
20th anniversary. Graham Chapman died of cancer. The rumors of him contracting AIDS are completely false. They presumably came from the infamous and yet utterly stupid notion that dead + homosexual = AIDS.

When this newsgroup first started up, there was a long and
tedious debate about Chapman's cause of death. A member in London went to the public records office, got a copy of Graham Chapman's death certificate, and posted it.

The primary cause of death was cancer of the larynx (throat)
with secondary cancers elsewhere, including the liver. Cancer of the liver is quite common and quite fatal, but it is usually a sign of cancer elsewhere. The liver only gets affected in the final stages. Liver failure will eventually
kill you if pneumonia doesn't get you first.

Death certificates in the UK are required by law to state both
the primary and secondary causes of death. Graham died of pneumonia as a result of cancer of the larynx that had spread to many other sites, including the liver.

F. Deadly Joke
Q. What is the funniest joke in the world? What does it mean?
A. Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund
das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Taken from "The First 200 Years of Monty Python" by Kim "Howard" Johnson]: "It was actually German gibberish," Eric Idle explains. "It's written-down gibberish, because we all had to learn the same thing, yeah, but it's gibberish! It doesn't mean a thing at all. At least, I don't think it doesà"

Q. Isn't some of that actual German? What's the closet
translation into English you can make? A. Yes, some of the words used were real German words. Others
were pseudo German-sounding words. It's mostly nonsense.

[Taken from an article to a.f.m-p by Dirk Rehberger]: I've seen it, I'm German, and here's the translation.
Wenn ist das - If is the (note: "Wann"means "when," which
would make slightly more sense, since it's a question)
Nunstueck - nun = now, stueck = piece
git - that's obviously English! (but similar to "gibt" meaning
"gives" or, in the phrase "es gibt," "there is")
und - and
Slotermeyer? - Doesn't make sense! (Meyer is a common German
surname)
Ja! - Yes!
Beiherhund - hund = dog. Beiher doesn't make any sense.
Bayer mean Bavarian, but you can't say "Bayerhund" for "Bavarian dog;" you would have to say "Bayrischer hund."
das oder die - the or the (das is neuter, die is feminine) or
that
Flipperwaldt - Flipper = pinball, wald = wood/forest
Gersput - Doesn't make sense! "Ge" and "ver" are very common
German prefixes for past participles, but not "ger."

All in all: If is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)? Yes! (Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!

Note that your translation may vary, depending on which
transcription you use and how hard you try to make sense of it.

G. Poofters
Q. What is a poofter/pooftah, as heard in the Bruces Philosophers
sketch?
A. Poofter is slang for male homosexual.

H. Walk This Way
Q. What is the joke about the phrase "If I could walk that wayà?"
A. If I could walk that way is an old gag, possibly originated by
the Marx Brothers. Typically someone would walk into a drug store or pharmacy,
ask for an ointment, and be told to walk this way (in other words, follow me).
The customer would then reply, "If I could walk that way I wouldn't need ointment." The phrase "If I could walk that way" has therefore become a classic and well-known comedy gag.

You also may occasionally see a comic sketch where a person is told "Walk this way," then walks away in a comical manner (silly walk!), implying walk the way I am walking instead of follow me.

I. Four Yorkshire Men Sketch
Q. What is the sketch of four men sitting around talking about
their childhoods and trying to outdo each other with stories about how hard it was?
A. That is the Four Yorkshire Men Sketch. It was originally
written pre-Flying Circus and was never performed in the series. It was performed in several stage shows, including Live at the Hollywood Bowl, and is on Python audio recordings.

J. Python Mailing Address
Q. Where can I write the Python Office?
A. The Python Office address for official correspondence is The
Python Office, 34 Thistlewaite Road, London E5 0QQ, England. The office is unable to respond individually to each piece of mail, including questions or requests for signed pictures. Do not send personal items to this address for they will not be returned. The office no longer accepts personal items for signing.

K. AKA
Q. What is the "aka" I see some people use when they sign posts?
A. The letters AKA stand for Also Known As and usually serve as
an alias. Some posters use the aka as a postscript or a final witty comment. It's silly and has nothing to do with what aka really means, but they are a part of this newsgroup's history and date back to 1991.

--- BBBS/NT v4.01 Flag-5
* Origin: FidoNet MONTE <--> alt.fan.monty-python (1:379/45)

From: "Analda Anglin" <analda@nospam.hiwaay.net>

The Alt.Fan.Monty-Python FAQ
(C) Copyright 1998-2008 Analda Anglin
Version 8.3
Last modified July 1, 2008

***Important Notices***

Changes for Version 8.3: Reviewed and updated for currency

***FAQ Facts***
This FAQ is written specifically for the alt.fan.monty-python
newsgroup. It originally created by John 'Shaggy' Kolesar. In August
1998 it was passed on to Analda Anglin and in February 2000 it was
given its own website, www.pythonfan.com. Current FAQ point of contact
is analda@hiwaay.net. This FAQ is posted to the newsgroup on or about
the 1st of each month.

Many thanks go to the following people who have helped with
ideas/revisions: (In absolutely no sensible order whatsoever)
John 'Shaggy' Kolesar: Original writing of the FAQ and several years of maintenance
Bonni Hall: Net Guidelines, Group History
Sir David: The Liberty Bell March (MP theme song) Q & A
Dave Morning: Authoritative Cause of Death for Graham Chapman
Dirk Rehberger: Translation of the Funniest Joke in the World
Andrew Bromage aka Sir Pseudonym: ASCII ArtworkùFoot and Spiney Norman, available for viewing at the website

PART ONE: Posting Guidelines

RULE ONE: Please post sensibly and courteously. This means no large
files (scripts, images, sounds). If someone requests a large file
that you can provide, please email the file or furnish directions to an appropriate web or FTP site.

Edit long cascades. Long cascades are posts with multiple follow ups.
Delete the lines youÆre not using in your reply, such as ôso and so
wroteö headers and signature files.

RULE TWO: Please be polite. Many of the people who post here ask for
skits, songs, scripts, and facts. Be polite, be friendly, and be
helpful if you can. DonÆt blow them up because they donÆt know which
web or FTP site to go to. We are a friendly, generally amusing, mostly intelligent bunch of folks. We really ought to act that way.

Flames are hurtful and unkind and have no place in this newsgroup.
Personal direct insults are right out. If someone is rude, ignore
him/her. Do not send any mail to that person, do not flame in return,
and do not post about that person. In short: DO NOT FEED THE FLAMES.

When you see Spam (articles that are cross posted to newsgroups they
have nothing to do with), do not post follow ups. That just adds to
the problem and usually creates more cross posts. Like flames, the
best thing to do when someone posts Spam is to ignore it.

When in doubt, email instead of posting. If youÆre not sure whether
something will be taken as a joke, itÆs usually best to restrict the
remarks to email instead of posting them for everyone to see. Personal comments, private jokes, and off topic threads are best kept private.


RULE THREE: Please try to keep things on topic. We understand when
things become silly. LetÆs face it--Monty Python was a bunch of very silly/wacky/loony people. Still, in a Monty Python newsgroup posts
should be Python-related or Pythonesque.

Direct Python discussions are obviously fine. Posts about Python
information, such as this FAQ and requests for Python web and FTP
sites, are allowed. So are posts about the newsgroup and announcements
of upcoming events in the Python and a.f.m-p communities.

Original humor that has a strong basis in Python is also acceptable.
Python based means things such as parodies on Python bits or original
works that involve Python ideas in a new way. If you think that other
people could read your creation and say to themselves ôHey! That
resembles Monty Python!ö then it should be fine. Original humor that
has absolutely nothing to do with Python is unfortunately out. While
it is probably funny, it more likely belongs in rec.humor or email.

RULE FOUR: DonÆt use the newsgroup to distribute copyrighted
materials. The free distribution of copyrighted materials through the
Internet is illegal. There are no exceptions without specific
permission from the copyright owners. The Python London office asks
that we direct people to the published versions of Monty Python
material and encourage them to buy the book versions of the scripts.

And finally, THERE IS NO RULE SIX!!

PART TWO: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A. The Witch Quote
Q. What does the witch say in the Holy Grail when she is found to
weigh the same as a duck, and therefore found to be a witch?
A. She says, ôItÆs a fair cop.ö The phrase is thievesÆ cant for
ôyouÆve got me dead to rights,ö which means that there has been no
entrapment and the person was fairly caught in the act. The line has
also been used a few other sketches, like ôDead Bishop on the
Landing/Church Policeö and ôWhizzo Chocolates.ö

B. Knights Who No Longer Say NI
Q. What do the knights who no longer say NI now call themselves?
A. They are the knights who say (something like) ôecky ecky ecky ecky piÆtang zoop boing.ö What was said on screen during the filming was
completely different from what was written down on the screenplay. The
line was spontaneously ad-libbed. What is quoted in the net file
scripts of the movie is a phonetic approximation of what was said. In
case you are curious, the official script for the Holy Grail says ôWe
are now the Knights who go Neeeowàwumàping!ö

C. Holy Grail Monks
Q. What are the monks chanting in The Holy Grail?
A. The monks chant ôPie Iesu Domine. Dona eis Requiem.ö It is Latin
for ôMerciful Lord Jesus. Grant them rest.ö These are typical
Catholic funeral mass phrases.

D. Flying Circus Theme Music
Q. What is the theme music for Monty PythonÆs Flying Circus?
A. The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa. The Coldstream Guards performed the recording used for the series.

E. Rumors and Truth about Graham Chapman
Q. Was Graham Chapman homosexual? Was he an alcoholic?
A. Yes and yes. At his peak he was reportedly consuming two quarts of
gin a day. Chapman stopped drinking later in his life.
Q. When did Graham Chapman die? What did he die of?
A. He died on October 4, 1989, just one day before Monty PythonÆs 20th anniversary. Graham Chapman died of cancer. The rumors of him
contracting AIDS are completely false. They presumably came from the
infamous and yet utterly stupid notion that dead + homosexual = AIDS.

When this newsgroup first started up, there was a long and tedious debate about ChapmanÆs cause of death. A member in London went to the
public records office, got a copy of Graham ChapmanÆs death
certificate, and posted it.

The primary cause of death was cancer of the larynx (throat)
with secondary cancers elsewhere, including the liver. Cancer of the
liver is quite common and quite fatal, but it is usually a sign of
cancer elsewhere. The liver only gets affected in the final stages.
Liver failure will eventually kill you if pneumonia doesnÆt get you
first.

Death certificates in the UK are required by law to state both the primary and secondary causes of death. Graham died of pneumonia as a
result of cancer of the larynx that had spread to many other sites,
including the liver.

F. Deadly Joke
Q. What is the funniest joke in the world? What does it mean?
A. Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Taken from ôThe First 200 Years of Monty Pythonö by Kim ôHowardö
Johnson]: ôIt was actually German gibberish,ö Eric Idle explains.
ôItÆs written-down gibberish, because we all had to learn the same
thing, yeah, but itÆs gibberish! It doesnÆt mean a thing at all. At
least, I donÆt think it doesàö

Q. IsnÆt some of that actual German? WhatÆs the closet translation
into English you can make?
A. Yes, some of the words used were real German words. Others were
pseudo German-sounding words. ItÆs mostly nonsense.

[Taken from an article to a.f.m-p by Dirk Rehberger]: IÆve seen it,
IÆm German, and hereÆs the translation.
Wenn ist das û If is the (note: ôWannömeans ôwhen,ö which would make slightly more sense, since itÆs a question)
Nunstueck û nun = now, stueck = piece
git û thatÆs obviously English! (but similar to ôgibtö meaning ôgivesö or, in the phrase ôes gibt,ö ôthere isö)
und û and
Slotermeyer? û DoesnÆt make sense! (Meyer is a common German surname)
Ja! û Yes!
Beiherhund û hund = dog. Beiher doesnÆt make any sense. Bayer mean Bavarian, but you canÆt say ôBayerhundö for ôBavarian dog;ö you would
have to say ôBayrischer hund.ö
das oder die û the or the (das is neuter, die is feminine) or that
Flipperwaldt û Flipper = pinball, wald = wood/forest
Gersput û DoesnÆt make sense! ôGeö and ôverö are very common German prefixes for past participles, but not ôger.ö

All in all: If is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)? Yes! (Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!

Note that your translation may vary, depending on which transcription you use and how hard you try to make sense of it.

G. Poofters
Q. What is a poofter/pooftah, as heard in the Bruces Philosophers
sketch?
A. Poofter is slang for male homosexual.

H. Walk This Way
Q. What is the joke about the phrase ôIf I could walk that wayà?ö
A. If I could walk that way is an old gag, possibly originated by the
Marx Brothers. Typically someone would walk into a drug store or
pharmacy, ask for an ointment, and be told to walk this way (in other
words, follow me). The customer would then reply, ôIf I could walk
that way I wouldnÆt need ointment.ö The phrase ôIf I could walk that
wayö has therefore become a classic and well-known comedy gag.

You also may occasionally see a comic sketch where a person is told
ôWalk this way,ö then walks away in a comical manner (silly walk!),
implying walk the way I am walking instead of follow me.

I. Four Yorkshire Men Sketch
Q. What is the sketch of four men sitting around talking about their childhoods and trying to outdo each other with stories about how hard
it was?
A. That is the Four Yorkshire Men Sketch. It was originally written pre-Flying Circus and was never performed in the series. It was
performed in several stage shows, including Live at the Hollywood Bowl,
and is on Python audio recordings.

J. Python Mailing Address
Q. Where can I write the Python Office?
A. The Python Office address for official correspondence is The Python Office, 34 Thistlewaite Road, London E5 0QQ, England. The office is
unable to respond individually to each piece of mail, including
questions or requests for signed pictures. Do not send personal items
to this address for they will not be returned. The office no longer
accepts personal items for signing.

K. AKA
Q. What is the ôakaö I see some people use when they sign posts?
A. The letters AKA stand for Also Known As and usually serve as an
alias. Some posters use the aka as a postscript or a final witty
comment. ItÆs silly and has nothing to do with what aka really means,
but they are a part of this newsgroupÆs history and date back to 1991.


--
Analda aka Sergeant of the FAQ
analda@nospam.hiwaay.net
--- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
* Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)

From: "Analda Anglin" <analda@nospam.hiwaay.net>

The Alt.Fan.Monty-Python FAQ
(C) Copyright 1998-2008 Analda Anglin
Version 8.3
Last modified July 1, 2008

***Important Notices***

Changes for Version 8.3: Reviewed and updated for currency

***FAQ Facts***
This FAQ is written specifically for the alt.fan.monty-python
newsgroup. It originally created by John 'Shaggy' Kolesar. In August
1998 it was passed on to Analda Anglin and in February 2000 it was
given its own website, www.pythonfan.com. Current FAQ point of contact
is analda@hiwaay.net. This FAQ is posted to the newsgroup on or about
the 1st of each month.

Many thanks go to the following people who have helped with
ideas/revisions: (In absolutely no sensible order whatsoever)
John 'Shaggy' Kolesar: Original writing of the FAQ and several years of maintenance
Bonni Hall: Net Guidelines, Group History
Sir David: The Liberty Bell March (MP theme song) Q & A
Dave Morning: Authoritative Cause of Death for Graham Chapman
Dirk Rehberger: Translation of the Funniest Joke in the World
Andrew Bromage aka Sir Pseudonym: ASCII ArtworkùFoot and Spiney Norman, available for viewing at the website

PART ONE: Posting Guidelines

RULE ONE: Please post sensibly and courteously. This means no large
files (scripts, images, sounds). If someone requests a large file
that you can provide, please email the file or furnish directions to an appropriate web or FTP site.

Edit long cascades. Long cascades are posts with multiple follow ups.
Delete the lines youÆre not using in your reply, such as ôso and so
wroteö headers and signature files.

RULE TWO: Please be polite. Many of the people who post here ask for
skits, songs, scripts, and facts. Be polite, be friendly, and be
helpful if you can. DonÆt blow them up because they donÆt know which
web or FTP site to go to. We are a friendly, generally amusing, mostly intelligent bunch of folks. We really ought to act that way.

Flames are hurtful and unkind and have no place in this newsgroup.
Personal direct insults are right out. If someone is rude, ignore
him/her. Do not send any mail to that person, do not flame in return,
and do not post about that person. In short: DO NOT FEED THE FLAMES.

When you see Spam (articles that are cross posted to newsgroups they
have nothing to do with), do not post follow ups. That just adds to
the problem and usually creates more cross posts. Like flames, the
best thing to do when someone posts Spam is to ignore it.

When in doubt, email instead of posting. If youÆre not sure whether
something will be taken as a joke, itÆs usually best to restrict the
remarks to email instead of posting them for everyone to see. Personal comments, private jokes, and off topic threads are best kept private.


RULE THREE: Please try to keep things on topic. We understand when
things become silly. LetÆs face it--Monty Python was a bunch of very silly/wacky/loony people. Still, in a Monty Python newsgroup posts
should be Python-related or Pythonesque.

Direct Python discussions are obviously fine. Posts about Python
information, such as this FAQ and requests for Python web and FTP
sites, are allowed. So are posts about the newsgroup and announcements
of upcoming events in the Python and a.f.m-p communities.

Original humor that has a strong basis in Python is also acceptable.
Python based means things such as parodies on Python bits or original
works that involve Python ideas in a new way. If you think that other
people could read your creation and say to themselves ôHey! That
resembles Monty Python!ö then it should be fine. Original humor that
has absolutely nothing to do with Python is unfortunately out. While
it is probably funny, it more likely belongs in rec.humor or email.

RULE FOUR: DonÆt use the newsgroup to distribute copyrighted
materials. The free distribution of copyrighted materials through the
Internet is illegal. There are no exceptions without specific
permission from the copyright owners. The Python London office asks
that we direct people to the published versions of Monty Python
material and encourage them to buy the book versions of the scripts.

And finally, THERE IS NO RULE SIX!!

PART TWO: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A. The Witch Quote
Q. What does the witch say in the Holy Grail when she is found to
weigh the same as a duck, and therefore found to be a witch?
A. She says, ôItÆs a fair cop.ö The phrase is thievesÆ cant for
ôyouÆve got me dead to rights,ö which means that there has been no
entrapment and the person was fairly caught in the act. The line has
also been used a few other sketches, like ôDead Bishop on the
Landing/Church Policeö and ôWhizzo Chocolates.ö

B. Knights Who No Longer Say NI
Q. What do the knights who no longer say NI now call themselves?
A. They are the knights who say (something like) ôecky ecky ecky ecky piÆtang zoop boing.ö What was said on screen during the filming was
completely different from what was written down on the screenplay. The
line was spontaneously ad-libbed. What is quoted in the net file
scripts of the movie is a phonetic approximation of what was said. In
case you are curious, the official script for the Holy Grail says ôWe
are now the Knights who go Neeeowàwumàping!ö

C. Holy Grail Monks
Q. What are the monks chanting in The Holy Grail?
A. The monks chant ôPie Iesu Domine. Dona eis Requiem.ö It is Latin
for ôMerciful Lord Jesus. Grant them rest.ö These are typical
Catholic funeral mass phrases.

D. Flying Circus Theme Music
Q. What is the theme music for Monty PythonÆs Flying Circus?
A. The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa. The Coldstream Guards performed the recording used for the series.

E. Rumors and Truth about Graham Chapman
Q. Was Graham Chapman homosexual? Was he an alcoholic?
A. Yes and yes. At his peak he was reportedly consuming two quarts of
gin a day. Chapman stopped drinking later in his life.
Q. When did Graham Chapman die? What did he die of?
A. He died on October 4, 1989, just one day before Monty PythonÆs 20th anniversary. Graham Chapman died of cancer. The rumors of him
contracting AIDS are completely false. They presumably came from the
infamous and yet utterly stupid notion that dead + homosexual = AIDS.

When this newsgroup first started up, there was a long and tedious debate about ChapmanÆs cause of death. A member in London went to the
public records office, got a copy of Graham ChapmanÆs death
certificate, and posted it.

The primary cause of death was cancer of the larynx (throat)
with secondary cancers elsewhere, including the liver. Cancer of the
liver is quite common and quite fatal, but it is usually a sign of
cancer elsewhere. The liver only gets affected in the final stages.
Liver failure will eventually kill you if pneumonia doesnÆt get you
first.

Death certificates in the UK are required by law to state both the primary and secondary causes of death. Graham died of pneumonia as a
result of cancer of the larynx that had spread to many other sites,
including the liver.

F. Deadly Joke
Q. What is the funniest joke in the world? What does it mean?
A. Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Taken from ôThe First 200 Years of Monty Pythonö by Kim ôHowardö
Johnson]: ôIt was actually German gibberish,ö Eric Idle explains.
ôItÆs written-down gibberish, because we all had to learn the same
thing, yeah, but itÆs gibberish! It doesnÆt mean a thing at all. At
least, I donÆt think it doesàö

Q. IsnÆt some of that actual German? WhatÆs the closet translation
into English you can make?
A. Yes, some of the words used were real German words. Others were
pseudo German-sounding words. ItÆs mostly nonsense.

[Taken from an article to a.f.m-p by Dirk Rehberger]: IÆve seen it,
IÆm German, and hereÆs the translation.
Wenn ist das û If is the (note: ôWannömeans ôwhen,ö which would make slightly more sense, since itÆs a question)
Nunstueck û nun = now, stueck = piece
git û thatÆs obviously English! (but similar to ôgibtö meaning ôgivesö or, in the phrase ôes gibt,ö ôthere isö)
und û and
Slotermeyer? û DoesnÆt make sense! (Meyer is a common German surname)
Ja! û Yes!
Beiherhund û hund = dog. Beiher doesnÆt make any sense. Bayer mean Bavarian, but you canÆt say ôBayerhundö for ôBavarian dog;ö you would
have to say ôBayrischer hund.ö
das oder die û the or the (das is neuter, die is feminine) or that
Flipperwaldt û Flipper = pinball, wald = wood/forest
Gersput û DoesnÆt make sense! ôGeö and ôverö are very common German prefixes for past participles, but not ôger.ö

All in all: If is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)? Yes! (Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!

Note that your translation may vary, depending on which transcription you use and how hard you try to make sense of it.

G. Poofters
Q. What is a poofter/pooftah, as heard in the Bruces Philosophers
sketch?
A. Poofter is slang for male homosexual.

H. Walk This Way
Q. What is the joke about the phrase ôIf I could walk that wayà?ö
A. If I could walk that way is an old gag, possibly originated by the
Marx Brothers. Typically someone would walk into a drug store or
pharmacy, ask for an ointment, and be told to walk this way (in other
words, follow me). The customer would then reply, ôIf I could walk
that way I wouldnÆt need ointment.ö The phrase ôIf I could walk that
wayö has therefore become a classic and well-known comedy gag.

You also may occasionally see a comic sketch where a person is told
ôWalk this way,ö then walks away in a comical manner (silly walk!),
implying walk the way I am walking instead of follow me.

I. Four Yorkshire Men Sketch
Q. What is the sketch of four men sitting around talking about their childhoods and trying to outdo each other with stories about how hard
it was?
A. That is the Four Yorkshire Men Sketch. It was originally written pre-Flying Circus and was never performed in the series. It was
performed in several stage shows, including Live at the Hollywood Bowl,
and is on Python audio recordings.

J. Python Mailing Address
Q. Where can I write the Python Office?
A. The Python Office address for official correspondence is The Python Office, 34 Thistlewaite Road, London E5 0QQ, England. The office is
unable to respond individually to each piece of mail, including
questions or requests for signed pictures. Do not send personal items
to this address for they will not be returned. The office no longer
accepts personal items for signing.

K. AKA
Q. What is the ôakaö I see some people use when they sign posts?
A. The letters AKA stand for Also Known As and usually serve as an
alias. Some posters use the aka as a postscript or a final witty
comment. ItÆs silly and has nothing to do with what aka really means,
but they are a part of this newsgroupÆs history and date back to 1991.


--
Analda aka Sergeant of the FAQ
analda@nospam.hiwaay.net
--- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
* Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)

From: "Analda Anglin" <analda@nospam.hiwaay.net>

The Alt.Fan.Monty-Python FAQ
(C) Copyright 1998-2008 Analda Anglin
Version 8.3
Last modified July 1, 2008

***Important Notices***

Changes for Version 8.3: Reviewed and updated for currency

***FAQ Facts***
This FAQ is written specifically for the alt.fan.monty-python
newsgroup. It originally created by John 'Shaggy' Kolesar. In August
1998 it was passed on to Analda Anglin and in February 2000 it was
given its own website, www.pythonfan.com. Current FAQ point of contact
is analda@hiwaay.net. This FAQ is posted to the newsgroup on or about
the 1st of each month.

Many thanks go to the following people who have helped with
ideas/revisions: (In absolutely no sensible order whatsoever)
John 'Shaggy' Kolesar: Original writing of the FAQ and several years of maintenance
Bonni Hall: Net Guidelines, Group History
Sir David: The Liberty Bell March (MP theme song) Q & A
Dave Morning: Authoritative Cause of Death for Graham Chapman
Dirk Rehberger: Translation of the Funniest Joke in the World
Andrew Bromage aka Sir Pseudonym: ASCII ArtworkùFoot and Spiney Norman, available for viewing at the website

PART ONE: Posting Guidelines

RULE ONE: Please post sensibly and courteously. This means no large
files (scripts, images, sounds). If someone requests a large file
that you can provide, please email the file or furnish directions to an appropriate web or FTP site.

Edit long cascades. Long cascades are posts with multiple follow ups.
Delete the lines youÆre not using in your reply, such as ôso and so
wroteö headers and signature files.

RULE TWO: Please be polite. Many of the people who post here ask for
skits, songs, scripts, and facts. Be polite, be friendly, and be
helpful if you can. DonÆt blow them up because they donÆt know which
web or FTP site to go to. We are a friendly, generally amusing, mostly intelligent bunch of folks. We really ought to act that way.

Flames are hurtful and unkind and have no place in this newsgroup.
Personal direct insults are right out. If someone is rude, ignore
him/her. Do not send any mail to that person, do not flame in return,
and do not post about that person. In short: DO NOT FEED THE FLAMES.

When you see Spam (articles that are cross posted to newsgroups they
have nothing to do with), do not post follow ups. That just adds to
the problem and usually creates more cross posts. Like flames, the
best thing to do when someone posts Spam is to ignore it.

When in doubt, email instead of posting. If youÆre not sure whether
something will be taken as a joke, itÆs usually best to restrict the
remarks to email instead of posting them for everyone to see. Personal comments, private jokes, and off topic threads are best kept private.


RULE THREE: Please try to keep things on topic. We understand when
things become silly. LetÆs face it--Monty Python was a bunch of very silly/wacky/loony people. Still, in a Monty Python newsgroup posts
should be Python-related or Pythonesque.

Direct Python discussions are obviously fine. Posts about Python
information, such as this FAQ and requests for Python web and FTP
sites, are allowed. So are posts about the newsgroup and announcements
of upcoming events in the Python and a.f.m-p communities.

Original humor that has a strong basis in Python is also acceptable.
Python based means things such as parodies on Python bits or original
works that involve Python ideas in a new way. If you think that other
people could read your creation and say to themselves ôHey! That
resembles Monty Python!ö then it should be fine. Original humor that
has absolutely nothing to do with Python is unfortunately out. While
it is probably funny, it more likely belongs in rec.humor or email.

RULE FOUR: DonÆt use the newsgroup to distribute copyrighted
materials. The free distribution of copyrighted materials through the
Internet is illegal. There are no exceptions without specific
permission from the copyright owners. The Python London office asks
that we direct people to the published versions of Monty Python
material and encourage them to buy the book versions of the scripts.

And finally, THERE IS NO RULE SIX!!

PART TWO: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A. The Witch Quote
Q. What does the witch say in the Holy Grail when she is found to
weigh the same as a duck, and therefore found to be a witch?
A. She says, ôItÆs a fair cop.ö The phrase is thievesÆ cant for
ôyouÆve got me dead to rights,ö which means that there has been no
entrapment and the person was fairly caught in the act. The line has
also been used a few other sketches, like ôDead Bishop on the
Landing/Church Policeö and ôWhizzo Chocolates.ö

B. Knights Who No Longer Say NI
Q. What do the knights who no longer say NI now call themselves?
A. They are the knights who say (something like) ôecky ecky ecky ecky piÆtang zoop boing.ö What was said on screen during the filming was
completely different from what was written down on the screenplay. The
line was spontaneously ad-libbed. What is quoted in the net file
scripts of the movie is a phonetic approximation of what was said. In
case you are curious, the official script for the Holy Grail says ôWe
are now the Knights who go Neeeowàwumàping!ö

C. Holy Grail Monks
Q. What are the monks chanting in The Holy Grail?
A. The monks chant ôPie Iesu Domine. Dona eis Requiem.ö It is Latin
for ôMerciful Lord Jesus. Grant them rest.ö These are typical
Catholic funeral mass phrases.

D. Flying Circus Theme Music
Q. What is the theme music for Monty PythonÆs Flying Circus?
A. The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa. The Coldstream Guards performed the recording used for the series.

E. Rumors and Truth about Graham Chapman
Q. Was Graham Chapman homosexual? Was he an alcoholic?
A. Yes and yes. At his peak he was reportedly consuming two quarts of
gin a day. Chapman stopped drinking later in his life.
Q. When did Graham Chapman die? What did he die of?
A. He died on October 4, 1989, just one day before Monty PythonÆs 20th anniversary. Graham Chapman died of cancer. The rumors of him
contracting AIDS are completely false. They presumably came from the
infamous and yet utterly stupid notion that dead + homosexual = AIDS.

When this newsgroup first started up, there was a long and tedious debate about ChapmanÆs cause of death. A member in London went to the
public records office, got a copy of Graham ChapmanÆs death
certificate, and posted it.

The primary cause of death was cancer of the larynx (throat)
with secondary cancers elsewhere, including the liver. Cancer of the
liver is quite common and quite fatal, but it is usually a sign of
cancer elsewhere. The liver only gets affected in the final stages.
Liver failure will eventually kill you if pneumonia doesnÆt get you
first.

Death certificates in the UK are required by law to state both the primary and secondary causes of death. Graham died of pneumonia as a
result of cancer of the larynx that had spread to many other sites,
including the liver.

F. Deadly Joke
Q. What is the funniest joke in the world? What does it mean?
A. Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Taken from ôThe First 200 Years of Monty Pythonö by Kim ôHowardö
Johnson]: ôIt was actually German gibberish,ö Eric Idle explains.
ôItÆs written-down gibberish, because we all had to learn the same
thing, yeah, but itÆs gibberish! It doesnÆt mean a thing at all. At
least, I donÆt think it doesàö

Q. IsnÆt some of that actual German? WhatÆs the closet translation
into English you can make?
A. Yes, some of the words used were real German words. Others were
pseudo German-sounding words. ItÆs mostly nonsense.

[Taken from an article to a.f.m-p by Dirk Rehberger]: IÆve seen it,
IÆm German, and hereÆs the translation.
Wenn ist das û If is the (note: ôWannömeans ôwhen,ö which would make slightly more sense, since itÆs a question)
Nunstueck û nun = now, stueck = piece
git û thatÆs obviously English! (but similar to ôgibtö meaning ôgivesö or, in the phrase ôes gibt,ö ôthere isö)
und û and
Slotermeyer? û DoesnÆt make sense! (Meyer is a common German surname)
Ja! û Yes!
Beiherhund û hund = dog. Beiher doesnÆt make any sense. Bayer mean Bavarian, but you canÆt say ôBayerhundö for ôBavarian dog;ö you would
have to say ôBayrischer hund.ö
das oder die û the or the (das is neuter, die is feminine) or that
Flipperwaldt û Flipper = pinball, wald = wood/forest
Gersput û DoesnÆt make sense! ôGeö and ôverö are very common German prefixes for past participles, but not ôger.ö

All in all: If is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)? Yes! (Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!

Note that your translation may vary, depending on which transcription you use and how hard you try to make sense of it.

G. Poofters
Q. What is a poofter/pooftah, as heard in the Bruces Philosophers
sketch?
A. Poofter is slang for male homosexual.

H. Walk This Way
Q. What is the joke about the phrase ôIf I could walk that wayà?ö
A. If I could walk that way is an old gag, possibly originated by the
Marx Brothers. Typically someone would walk into a drug store or
pharmacy, ask for an ointment, and be told to walk this way (in other
words, follow me). The customer would then reply, ôIf I could walk
that way I wouldnÆt need ointment.ö The phrase ôIf I could walk that
wayö has therefore become a classic and well-known comedy gag.

You also may occasionally see a comic sketch where a person is told
ôWalk this way,ö then walks away in a comical manner (silly walk!),
implying walk the way I am walking instead of follow me.

I. Four Yorkshire Men Sketch
Q. What is the sketch of four men sitting around talking about their childhoods and trying to outdo each other with stories about how hard
it was?
A. That is the Four Yorkshire Men Sketch. It was originally written pre-Flying Circus and was never performed in the series. It was
performed in several stage shows, including Live at the Hollywood Bowl,
and is on Python audio recordings.

J. Python Mailing Address
Q. Where can I write the Python Office?
A. The Python Office address for official correspondence is The Python Office, 34 Thistlewaite Road, London E5 0QQ, England. The office is
unable to respond individually to each piece of mail, including
questions or requests for signed pictures. Do not send personal items
to this address for they will not be returned. The office no longer
accepts personal items for signing.

K. AKA
Q. What is the ôakaö I see some people use when they sign posts?
A. The letters AKA stand for Also Known As and usually serve as an
alias. Some posters use the aka as a postscript or a final witty
comment. ItÆs silly and has nothing to do with what aka really means,
but they are a part of this newsgroupÆs history and date back to 1991.


--
Analda aka Sergeant of the FAQ
analda@nospam.hiwaay.net
--- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
* Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)

From: "Analda Anglin" <analda@nospam.hiwaay.net>

The Alt.Fan.Monty-Python FAQ
(C) Copyright 1998-2008 Analda Anglin
Version 8.3
Last modified July 1, 2008

***Important Notices***

Changes for Version 8.3: Reviewed and updated for currency

***FAQ Facts***
This FAQ is written specifically for the alt.fan.monty-python
newsgroup. It originally created by John 'Shaggy' Kolesar. In August
1998 it was passed on to Analda Anglin and in February 2000 it was
given its own website, www.pythonfan.com. Current FAQ point of contact
is analda@hiwaay.net. This FAQ is posted to the newsgroup on or about
the 1st of each month.

Many thanks go to the following people who have helped with
ideas/revisions: (In absolutely no sensible order whatsoever)
John 'Shaggy' Kolesar: Original writing of the FAQ and several years of maintenance
Bonni Hall: Net Guidelines, Group History
Sir David: The Liberty Bell March (MP theme song) Q & A
Dave Morning: Authoritative Cause of Death for Graham Chapman
Dirk Rehberger: Translation of the Funniest Joke in the World
Andrew Bromage aka Sir Pseudonym: ASCII ArtworkùFoot and Spiney Norman, available for viewing at the website

PART ONE: Posting Guidelines

RULE ONE: Please post sensibly and courteously. This means no large
files (scripts, images, sounds). If someone requests a large file
that you can provide, please email the file or furnish directions to an appropriate web or FTP site.

Edit long cascades. Long cascades are posts with multiple follow ups.
Delete the lines youÆre not using in your reply, such as ôso and so
wroteö headers and signature files.

RULE TWO: Please be polite. Many of the people who post here ask for
skits, songs, scripts, and facts. Be polite, be friendly, and be
helpful if you can. DonÆt blow them up because they donÆt know which
web or FTP site to go to. We are a friendly, generally amusing, mostly intelligent bunch of folks. We really ought to act that way.

Flames are hurtful and unkind and have no place in this newsgroup.
Personal direct insults are right out. If someone is rude, ignore
him/her. Do not send any mail to that person, do not flame in return,
and do not post about that person. In short: DO NOT FEED THE FLAMES.

When you see Spam (articles that are cross posted to newsgroups they
have nothing to do with), do not post follow ups. That just adds to
the problem and usually creates more cross posts. Like flames, the
best thing to do when someone posts Spam is to ignore it.

When in doubt, email instead of posting. If youÆre not sure whether
something will be taken as a joke, itÆs usually best to restrict the
remarks to email instead of posting them for everyone to see. Personal comments, private jokes, and off topic threads are best kept private.


RULE THREE: Please try to keep things on topic. We understand when
things become silly. LetÆs face it--Monty Python was a bunch of very silly/wacky/loony people. Still, in a Monty Python newsgroup posts
should be Python-related or Pythonesque.

Direct Python discussions are obviously fine. Posts about Python
information, such as this FAQ and requests for Python web and FTP
sites, are allowed. So are posts about the newsgroup and announcements
of upcoming events in the Python and a.f.m-p communities.

Original humor that has a strong basis in Python is also acceptable.
Python based means things such as parodies on Python bits or original
works that involve Python ideas in a new way. If you think that other
people could read your creation and say to themselves ôHey! That
resembles Monty Python!ö then it should be fine. Original humor that
has absolutely nothing to do with Python is unfortunately out. While
it is probably funny, it more likely belongs in rec.humor or email.

RULE FOUR: DonÆt use the newsgroup to distribute copyrighted
materials. The free distribution of copyrighted materials through the
Internet is illegal. There are no exceptions without specific
permission from the copyright owners. The Python London office asks
that we direct people to the published versions of Monty Python
material and encourage them to buy the book versions of the scripts.

And finally, THERE IS NO RULE SIX!!

PART TWO: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A. The Witch Quote
Q. What does the witch say in the Holy Grail when she is found to
weigh the same as a duck, and therefore found to be a witch?
A. She says, ôItÆs a fair cop.ö The phrase is thievesÆ cant for
ôyouÆve got me dead to rights,ö which means that there has been no
entrapment and the person was fairly caught in the act. The line has
also been used a few other sketches, like ôDead Bishop on the
Landing/Church Policeö and ôWhizzo Chocolates.ö

B. Knights Who No Longer Say NI
Q. What do the knights who no longer say NI now call themselves?
A. They are the knights who say (something like) ôecky ecky ecky ecky piÆtang zoop boing.ö What was said on screen during the filming was
completely different from what was written down on the screenplay. The
line was spontaneously ad-libbed. What is quoted in the net file
scripts of the movie is a phonetic approximation of what was said. In
case you are curious, the official script for the Holy Grail says ôWe
are now the Knights who go Neeeowàwumàping!ö

C. Holy Grail Monks
Q. What are the monks chanting in The Holy Grail?
A. The monks chant ôPie Iesu Domine. Dona eis Requiem.ö It is Latin
for ôMerciful Lord Jesus. Grant them rest.ö These are typical
Catholic funeral mass phrases.

D. Flying Circus Theme Music
Q. What is the theme music for Monty PythonÆs Flying Circus?
A. The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa. The Coldstream Guards performed the recording used for the series.

E. Rumors and Truth about Graham Chapman
Q. Was Graham Chapman homosexual? Was he an alcoholic?
A. Yes and yes. At his peak he was reportedly consuming two quarts of
gin a day. Chapman stopped drinking later in his life.
Q. When did Graham Chapman die? What did he die of?
A. He died on October 4, 1989, just one day before Monty PythonÆs 20th anniversary. Graham Chapman died of cancer. The rumors of him
contracting AIDS are completely false. They presumably came from the
infamous and yet utterly stupid notion that dead + homosexual = AIDS.

When this newsgroup first started up, there was a long and tedious debate about ChapmanÆs cause of death. A member in London went to the
public records office, got a copy of Graham ChapmanÆs death
certificate, and posted it.

The primary cause of death was cancer of the larynx (throat)
with secondary cancers elsewhere, including the liver. Cancer of the
liver is quite common and quite fatal, but it is usually a sign of
cancer elsewhere. The liver only gets affected in the final stages.
Liver failure will eventually kill you if pneumonia doesnÆt get you
first.

Death certificates in the UK are required by law to state both the primary and secondary causes of death. Graham died of pneumonia as a
result of cancer of the larynx that had spread to many other sites,
including the liver.

F. Deadly Joke
Q. What is the funniest joke in the world? What does it mean?
A. Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Taken from ôThe First 200 Years of Monty Pythonö by Kim ôHowardö
Johnson]: ôIt was actually German gibberish,ö Eric Idle explains.
ôItÆs written-down gibberish, because we all had to learn the same
thing, yeah, but itÆs gibberish! It doesnÆt mean a thing at all. At
least, I donÆt think it doesàö

Q. IsnÆt some of that actual German? WhatÆs the closet translation
into English you can make?
A. Yes, some of the words used were real German words. Others were
pseudo German-sounding words. ItÆs mostly nonsense.

[Taken from an article to a.f.m-p by Dirk Rehberger]: IÆve seen it,
IÆm German, and hereÆs the translation.
Wenn ist das û If is the (note: ôWannömeans ôwhen,ö which would make slightly more sense, since itÆs a question)
Nunstueck û nun = now, stueck = piece
git û thatÆs obviously English! (but similar to ôgibtö meaning ôgivesö or, in the phrase ôes gibt,ö ôthere isö)
und û and
Slotermeyer? û DoesnÆt make sense! (Meyer is a common German surname)
Ja! û Yes!
Beiherhund û hund = dog. Beiher doesnÆt make any sense. Bayer mean Bavarian, but you canÆt say ôBayerhundö for ôBavarian dog;ö you would
have to say ôBayrischer hund.ö
das oder die û the or the (das is neuter, die is feminine) or that
Flipperwaldt û Flipper = pinball, wald = wood/forest
Gersput û DoesnÆt make sense! ôGeö and ôverö are very common German prefixes for past participles, but not ôger.ö

All in all: If is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)? Yes! (Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!

Note that your translation may vary, depending on which transcription you use and how hard you try to make sense of it.

G. Poofters
Q. What is a poofter/pooftah, as heard in the Bruces Philosophers
sketch?
A. Poofter is slang for male homosexual.

H. Walk This Way
Q. What is the joke about the phrase ôIf I could walk that wayà?ö
A. If I could walk that way is an old gag, possibly originated by the
Marx Brothers. Typically someone would walk into a drug store or
pharmacy, ask for an ointment, and be told to walk this way (in other
words, follow me). The customer would then reply, ôIf I could walk
that way I wouldnÆt need ointment.ö The phrase ôIf I could walk that
wayö has therefore become a classic and well-known comedy gag.

You also may occasionally see a comic sketch where a person is told
ôWalk this way,ö then walks away in a comical manner (silly walk!),
implying walk the way I am walking instead of follow me.

I. Four Yorkshire Men Sketch
Q. What is the sketch of four men sitting around talking about their childhoods and trying to outdo each other with stories about how hard
it was?
A. That is the Four Yorkshire Men Sketch. It was originally written pre-Flying Circus and was never performed in the series. It was
performed in several stage shows, including Live at the Hollywood Bowl,
and is on Python audio recordings.

J. Python Mailing Address
Q. Where can I write the Python Office?
A. The Python Office address for official correspondence is The Python Office, 34 Thistlewaite Road, London E5 0QQ, England. The office is
unable to respond individually to each piece of mail, including
questions or requests for signed pictures. Do not send personal items
to this address for they will not be returned. The office no longer
accepts personal items for signing.

K. AKA
Q. What is the ôakaö I see some people use when they sign posts?
A. The letters AKA stand for Also Known As and usually serve as an
alias. Some posters use the aka as a postscript or a final witty
comment. ItÆs silly and has nothing to do with what aka really means,
but they are a part of this newsgroupÆs history and date back to 1991.


--
Analda aka Sergeant of the FAQ
analda@nospam.hiwaay.net
--- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
* Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)

From: "Analda Anglin" <analda@nospam.hiwaay.net>

So what's a Semprini then? (I know the answer but you may want to
include the question in the FAQ.)

To be honest, the question hasn't come up that frequently. The FAQ's
been pared down over the years to remove more obscure information. But
it can always be changed -- now taking nominations for more bits to go
into the document.

--
Analda aka Sergeant of the FAQ
analda@nospam.hiwaay.net
--- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
* Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)

From: "Analda Anglin" <analda@nospam.hiwaay.net>

The Alt.Fan.Monty-Python FAQ
(C) Copyright 1998-2010 Analda Anglin
Version 8.4
Last reviewed January 4, 2010

***Important Notices***

Changes for Version 8.4: Refreshed for currency; added information
about MPFC Soundtrack CD

***FAQ Facts***
This FAQ is written specifically for the alt.fan.monty-python
newsgroup. It originally created by John 'Shaggy' Kolesar. In August
1998 it was passed on to Analda Anglin and in February 2000 it was
given its own website, www.pythonfan.com. Current FAQ point of contact
is analda@hiwaay.net. This FAQ is posted to the newsgroup on or about
the 1st of each month.

Many thanks go to the following people who have helped with
ideas/revisions:
John 'Shaggy' Kolesar: Original writing of the FAQ and several years of maintenance
Bonni Hall: Net Guidelines, Group History
Sir David: The Liberty Bell March (MP theme song) Q & A
Dave Morning: Authoritative Cause of Death for Graham Chapman
Dirk Rehberger: Translation of the Funniest Joke in the World
Andrew Bromage aka Sir Pseudonym: ASCII ArtworkùFoot and Spiney Norman, available for viewing at the website

POSTING GUIDELINES

RULE ONE: Please post sensibly and courteously. If someone requests a
large file that you can provide, please email the file or furnish
directions to an appropriate web or FTP site instead of posting the
file directly to the newsgroup.

Edit long cascades found in posts containing multiple follow ups.
Delete the lines youÆre not using in your reply, such as ôso and so
wroteö headers and signature files.

RULE TWO: Please be polite. Many of the people who post here ask for
skits, songs, scripts, and facts. Be polite, be friendly, and be
helpful if you can. We are a friendly, generally amusing, mostly
intelligent bunch of folks. We really ought to act that way.

Flames are hurtful and unkind and have no place in this newsgroup.
Personal direct insults are right out. If someone is rude, ignore
him/her. Do not send any mail to that person, do not flame in return,
and do not post about that person. In short: DO NOT FEED THE FLAMES.

When you see Spam (articles that are cross posted to newsgroups they
have nothing to do with), do not post follow ups. That just adds to
the problem and usually creates more cross posts. Like flames, the
best thing to do when someone posts Spam is to ignore it.

When in doubt, email instead of posting. If youÆre not sure whether
something will be taken as a joke, itÆs usually best to restrict the
remarks to email instead of posting them for everyone to see. Personal comments, private jokes, and off topic threads are best kept private.


RULE THREE: Please try to keep things on topic. We understand when
things become silly. LetÆs face it--Monty Python was a bunch of very silly/wacky/loony people. Still, in a Monty Python newsgroup posts
should be Python-related or Pythonesque.

Direct Python discussions are obviously fine. Posts about Python
information, such as this FAQ and requests for Python web and FTP
sites, are allowed. So are posts about the newsgroup and announcements
of upcoming events in the Python and a.f.m-p communities.

Original humor that has a strong basis in Python is also acceptable.
Python based means things such as parodies on Python bits or original
works that involve Python ideas in a new way. If you think that other
people could read your creation and say to themselves ôHey! That
resembles Monty Python!ö then it should be fine. Original humor that
has absolutely nothing to do with Python is unfortunately out. While
it is probably funny, it more likely belongs in rec.humor or email.

RULE FOUR: DonÆt use the newsgroup to distribute copyrighted
materials. The free distribution of copyrighted materials through the
Internet is illegal. There are no exceptions without specific
permission from the copyright owners. The Python London office asks
that we direct people to the published versions of Monty Python
material and encourage them to buy the book versions of the scripts.

And finally, THERE IS NO RULE SIX!!

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A. The Witch Quote
Q. What does the witch say in the Holy Grail when she is found to
weigh the same as a duck, and therefore found to be a witch?
A. She says, ôItÆs a fair cop.ö The phrase is thievesÆ cant for
ôyouÆve got me dead to rights,ö which means that there has been no
entrapment and the person was fairly caught in the act. The line has
also been used a few other sketches, like ôDead Bishop on the
Landing/Church Policeö and ôWhizzo Chocolates.ö

B. Knights Who No Longer Say NI
Q. What do the knights who no longer say NI now call themselves?
A. They are the knights who say (something like) ôecky ecky ecky ecky piÆtang zoop boing.ö What was said on screen during the filming was
completely different from what was written down on the screenplay. The
line was spontaneously ad-libbed. What is quoted in the net file
scripts of the movie is a phonetic approximation of what was said. In
case you are curious, the official script for the Holy Grail says ôWe
are now the Knights who go Neeeowàwumàping!ö

C. Holy Grail Monks
Q. What are the monks chanting in The Holy Grail?
A. The monks chant ôPie Iesu Domine. Dona eis Requiem.ö It is Latin
for ôMerciful Lord Jesus. Grant them rest.ö These are typical
Catholic funeral mass phrases.

D. Flying Circus Theme Music
Q. What is the theme music for Monty PythonÆs Flying Circus?
A. The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa. The Coldstream Guards performed the recording used for the series.

E. Rumors and Truth about Graham Chapman
Q. Was Graham Chapman homosexual? Was he an alcoholic?
A. Yes and yes. At his peak he was reportedly consuming two quarts of
gin a day. Chapman stopped drinking later in his life.
Q. When did Graham Chapman die? What did he die of?
A. He died on October 4, 1989, just one day before Monty PythonÆs 20th anniversary. Graham Chapman died of cancer. The rumors of him
contracting AIDS are completely false. They presumably came from the
infamous and yet utterly stupid notion that dead + homosexual = AIDS.

When this newsgroup first started up, there was a long and tedious debate about ChapmanÆs cause of death. A member in London went to the
public records office, got a copy of Graham ChapmanÆs death
certificate, and posted it.

The primary cause of death was cancer of the larynx (throat)
with secondary cancers elsewhere, including the liver. Cancer of the
liver is quite common and quite fatal, but it is usually a sign of
cancer elsewhere. The liver only gets affected in the final stages.
Liver failure will eventually kill you if pneumonia doesnÆt get you
first.

Death certificates in the UK are required by law to state both the primary and secondary causes of death. Graham died of pneumonia as a
result of cancer of the larynx that had spread to many other sites,
including the liver.

F. Deadly Joke
Q. What is the funniest joke in the world? What does it mean?
A. Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[Taken from ôThe First 200 Years of Monty Pythonö by Kim ôHowardö
Johnson]: ôIt was actually German gibberish,ö Eric Idle explains.
ôItÆs written-down gibberish, because we all had to learn the same
thing, yeah, but itÆs gibberish! It doesnÆt mean a thing at all. At
least, I donÆt think it doesàö

Q. IsnÆt some of that actual German? WhatÆs the closet translation
into English you can make?
A. Yes, some of the words used were real German words. Others were
pseudo German-sounding words. ItÆs mostly nonsense.

[Taken from an article to a.f.m-p by Dirk Rehberger]: IÆve seen it,
IÆm German, and hereÆs the translation.
Wenn ist das û If is the (note: ôWannömeans ôwhen,ö which would make slightly more sense, since itÆs a question)
Nunstueck û nun = now, stueck = piece
git û thatÆs obviously English! (but similar to ôgibtö meaning ôgivesö or, in the phrase ôes gibt,ö ôthere isö)
und û and
Slotermeyer? û DoesnÆt make sense! (Meyer is a common German surname)
Ja! û Yes!
Beiherhund û hund = dog. Beiher doesnÆt make any sense. Bayer mean Bavarian, but you canÆt say ôBayerhundö for ôBavarian dog;ö you would
have to say ôBayrischer hund.ö
das oder die û the or the (das is neuter, die is feminine) or that
Flipperwaldt û Flipper = pinball, wald = wood/forest
Gersput û DoesnÆt make sense! ôGeö and ôverö are very common German prefixes for past participles, but not ôger.ö

All in all: If is the now-piece (git) and (Slotermeyer)? Yes! (Beiher)dog that or the pinball wood (gersput)!

Note that your translation may vary, depending on which transcription you use and how hard you try to make sense of it.

G. Poofters
Q. What is a poofter/pooftah, as heard in the Bruces Philosophers
sketch?
A. Poofter is slang for male homosexual.

H. Walk This Way
Q. What is the joke about the phrase ôIf I could walk that wayà?ö
A. If I could walk that way is an old gag, possibly originated by the
Marx Brothers. Typically someone would walk into a drug store or
pharmacy, ask for an ointment, and be told to walk this way (in other
words, follow me). The customer would then reply, ôIf I could walk
that way I wouldnÆt need ointment.ö The phrase ôIf I could walk that
wayö has therefore become a classic and well-known comedy gag.

You also may occasionally see a comic sketch where a person is told
ôWalk this way,ö then walks away in a comical manner (silly walk!),
implying walk the way I am walking instead of follow me.

I. Four Yorkshire Men Sketch
Q. What is the sketch of four men sitting around talking about their childhoods and trying to outdo each other with stories about how hard
it was?
A. That is the Four Yorkshire Men Sketch. It was originally written pre-Flying Circus and was never performed in the series. It was
performed in several stage shows, including Live at the Hollywood Bowl,
and is on Python audio recordings.

J. Python Mailing Address
Q. Where can I write the Python Office?
A. The Python Office address for official correspondence is The Python Office, 34 Thistlewaite Road, London E5 0QQ, England. The office is
unable to respond individually to each piece of mail, including
questions or requests for signed pictures. Do not send personal items
to this address for they will not be returned. The office no longer
accepts personal items for signing.

K. AKA
Q. What is the ôakaö I see some people use when they sign posts?
A. The letters AKA stand for Also Known As and usually serve as an
alias. Some posters use the aka as a postscript or a final witty
comment. ItÆs silly and has nothing to do with what aka really means,
but they are a part of this newsgroupÆs history and date back to 1991.

L. Soundtrack CD
Q. What does the newgroup have to do with a soundtrack CD?
A. In Summer 2009, De Wolfe music released a soundtrack CD of
incidental music used in the Monty PythonÆs Flying Circus television
series. Much of this music was previously unavailable. The CD is not officially associated with the newsgroup, but an introduction for the
CD was written by Analda Anglin and references both www.pythonfan.com
and alt.fan.monty-python. For more information about the CD, please
visit http://www.dewolfeshop.com/.



--
Analda aka Sergeant of the FAQ
analda@nospam.hiwaay.net
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