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  • Life Imitates Monty Python

    From Ubiquitous@1:396/4 to All on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 18:13:37
    From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>

    ò "This is a frightened city. Over these houses, over these streets hangs a pall of fear. Fear of a new kind of violence which is terrorizing the city. Yes, gangs of old ladies attacking defenseless fit young men."
    --"Hell's Grannies," from "Monty Python's Flying Circus," originally
    aired Dec. 7, 1969

    ò "Nursing Home Residents Form a Biker Gang"
    --headline, WMAQ-TV (Chicago), Feb. 23, 2009


    --- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
    * Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)
  • From Ubiquitous@1:396/4 to All on Tuesday, August 10, 2010 19:28:04
    From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>

    ò "This man is Ernest Scribbler, writer of jokes. In a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in the world, and, as a consequence, he will die, laughing. . . . It was obvious that this joke was lethal. No one could read it and live."
    --"Funniest Joke in the World" sketch, originally aired Oct. 5, 1969

    ò "Joke on Boat Leads to Four Deaths"
    --headline, CNN.com, Aug. 10



    --- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
    * Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)
  • From F/32 Eurydice@1:396/4 to All on Thursday, August 12, 2010 23:35:47
    From: "F/32 Eurydice" <f32eurydice@sbcglobal.net>

    On Aug 11, 5:28=A0am, Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
    =95 "This man is Ernest Scribbler, writer of jokes. In a few moments, he =
    will
    have written the funniest joke in the world, and, as a consequence, he wi=
    ll
    die, laughing. . . . It was obvious that this joke was lethal. No one cou=
    ld
    read it and live."
    =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 --"Funniest Joke in the World" sketch, originally aired O=
    ct. 5, 1969

    =95 "Joke on Boat Leads to Four Deaths"
    =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 --headline, CNN.com, Aug. 10

    The most common last words - "Oh, ####."
    --- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
    * Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)
  • From Ubiquitous@1:396/4 to All on Friday, August 13, 2010 23:57:19
    From: weberm@polaris.net (Ubiquitous)

    ò Bedemir: "What makes you think she is a witch?" Villager No. 3: "Well,
    she turned me into a newt." Bedemir: "A newt?" Villager No. 3: "I got
    better." Villager No. 2: "Burn her anyway!"
    --from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," 1975

    ò "Lugar: If GOP Wins Congressional Majority, 'Who Will Be Our Newt?'"
    --headline, FoxNews.com, Aug. 13, 2010

    --- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
    * Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)
  • From F/32 Eurydice@1:396/4 to All on Friday, August 13, 2010 22:22:13
    From: "F/32 Eurydice" <f32eurydice@sbcglobal.net>

    On Aug 14, 11:57=A0am, web...@polaris.net (Ubiquitous) wrote:
    =95 =A0Bedemir: "What makes you think she is a witch?" Villager No. 3: "W=
    ell,
    she turned me into a newt." Bedemir: "A newt?" Villager No. 3: "I got better." Villager No. 2: "Burn her anyway!"
    =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 --from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," 1975

    =95 "Lugar: If GOP Wins Congressional Majority, 'Who Will Be Our Newt?'"
    =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 --headline, FoxNews.com, Aug. 13, 2010

    Oh, *THAT'* why they want to burn him!
    --- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
    * Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)
  • From Ubiquitous@1:396/4 to All on Saturday, August 14, 2010 02:37:45
    From: weberm@polaris.net (Ubiquitous)

    f32eurydice@sbcglobal.net wrote:
    On Aug 14, 11:57áam, web...@polaris.net (Ubiquitous) wrote:

    ò áBedemir: "What makes you think she is a witch?" Villager No. 3:
    "Well, she turned me into a newt." Bedemir: "A newt?" Villager
    No. 3: "I got better." Villager No. 2: "Burn her anyway!"
    á á á á --from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," 1975

    ò "Lugar: If GOP Wins Congressional Majority, 'Who Will Be Our
    Newt?'"
    á á á á --headline, FoxNews.com, Aug. 13, 2010

    Oh, *THAT'* why they want to burn him!

    Because he makes a good bridge?

    --
    It is simply breathtaking to watch the glee and abandon with which
    the liberal media and the Angry Left have been attempting to turn
    our military victory in Iraq into a second Vietnam quagmire. Too bad
    for them, it's failing.

    --- NewsGate v1.0 gamma 2
    * Origin: News Gate @ Net396 - Meridian, MS - USA (1:396/4)
  • From Ubiquitous@1:396/4 to All on Wednesday, April 18, 2012 19:24:44
    From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>

    Frenchman: "You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your
    bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called
    Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!"
    --from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," 1975

    "In France there is no problem, just in England. You English think there
    is a problem, which is crazy. I have spoken with Pippa, she thinks this
    is all a joke and a funny game. We were just having a laugh. We are funny people, it's what we do."
    --Marcy de Soultrait, brother of designer Vicomte Arthur de
    Soultrait, quoted in London's Daily Telegraph, April 18, 2012



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  • From Ubiquitous@1:396/4 to All on Monday, May 28, 2012 08:30:22
    From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>

    New Mother: "Is it a boy or a girl?" Obstetrician: "I think it's a bit
    early to start imposing roles on it, don't you?"
    --from "The Meaning of Life," 1983

    " 'Do you know what the gender is?' is the question people most
    frequently ask expecting parents, including me. Usually, I give the conventional response: 'No, we are waiting to be surprised.' But
    occasionally I offer up one of my two real answers, 'We don't know the
    sex or the gender' or 'I don't really believe in gender anyway.' "
    --Salamishah Tillet, TheNation.com, May 24, 2012



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  • From Ubiquitous@1:396/4 to All on Sunday, July 29, 2012 09:16:19
    From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>

    Male Peasant: "She's bloody dying and all you bring us is lupins! All we've eaten, mate, for the last four bleeding weeks is lupin soup, roast lupin, steamed lupin, braised lupin in lupin sauce, lupin in the basket with sauteed lupins, lupin meringue pie, lupin sorbet! We sit on lupins, we sleep in lupins, we feed the cat on lupins, we burn lupins, we even wear the bloody things!"
    --from "Monty Python's Flying Circus," originally aired Jan. 4, 1973

    "Reaching for a packet of chips could be only half as fattening in the future thanks to a legume which was previously used to feed cows. Curtin University researchers have replaced wheat flour with lupin and created chips with 50 per cent less fat."
    --Sydney Morning Herald, July 27, 2012



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